The Way I Am
by SkyyRyder
Summary: ONE SHOT x ::Spin off of Damaged:: x Why Reid is the way he is. Who is she? x Rated for language.


**_This came to me after I wrote Tyler's spin off, I figured you guys would like to know exactly what happened between Reid and Lydia. If you'd like a character concept of what Lydia looks like, think Blake Lively, I wrote her description after seeing yet another trailer for 'Gossip Girl'._**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything that looks familiar. I surely wish I did, because I would not be sitting on top of a credit card bill with quite a few grand charged on to it. :-D And I probably wouldn't be sitting at my computer; I'd be enjoying a strip tease by the four Sons. (cough) Excuse me. Anywho, the inspiration for this one came from, "The Way I Am" By Eminem.

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**The Way I Am**

By: SkyyRyder

Reid Garwin looked at the lovely blonde in front of him, she was his everything. Even at the ripe age of fifteen, he could say he knew what love was. She had walked in to Spencer as the new transfer student captivating the entire student body. She was perfect.

She had long blonde hair reaching her mid-back, honey brown eyes, with long lean legs that went on forever. She was the epitome of what every boy wanted, the perfect _it_ girl. The perfect accessory for any teenaged boy, and she had chosen him.

Reid dated plenty of girls since he was old enough to hold a conversation, or work his Garwin charm. There was something different about this girl, she was just different. She didn't care what anyone thought of her, and she strutted around school like she owned it.

And she did.

She had every guy at Spencer Academy eating out of her hand, except for a handful of boys. They included the rest of the Sons of Ipswich, Caleb Danvers, Pogue Parry and Tyler Simms; and her current boyfriend's best friend, Aaron Abbott.

She had Reid wrapped around her finger, he bought her expensive things, and took her out to eat at some of the most expensive restaurants. She used the 'L' word to get him hooked and for six months she had done just that.

She grabbed his hand and toyed with it absentmindedly, she always knew how to get a rise out of him. She slid her black ballet flat off of her foot and let it linger up Reid's leg, they were sitting in Sophomore Health listening to the teacher go on and on about sexual intercourse.

Reid glanced over at her and gave her a small grin, class was almost over and lunch would begin. He would take her back to his dorm and ravish her there. The bell rang and he flew past the rest of the class, grasping her hand in his.

He made a bee-line past his friends and towards the dorms. She glided behind him giggling like a little school girl as she tossed several girls knowing glances. Most of the girls at Spencer Academy would kill to be her, or any girl that was able to date one of the 'Sons'.

Opening the dorm door with a swift twist of the key and he pushed it open, pulling the blonde girl inside with him. She leaned against the door and Reid gave her a devilish smirk, he collapsed his lips on hers and she grinned against his pink lush lips.

Her tiny hands found the edge of his white oxford shirt and hastily untucked it and began unbuttoning it. Reid's larger hands cupped her waist and slowly slid down, lifting her up. He used one hand to remove the black lace underwear that she wore under her uniform skirt.

"I love you," He murmured his mouth taking hers again hungrily.

It was the first time he muttered those words to her, she had said them to him many times, but it was just toying with him so she could get what she wanted. He had never said it back to her; she scrunched her nose up at him, and pushed him off.

"If you love me so much, prove it…" She stated before escaping from his room.

Reid stood there a bit flabbergasted, she had just gotten him all worked up and then asked him to prove that he loved her. His brow furrowed as he glanced around the room, how was he going to prove that he loved her?

He groaned, falling on to his bed. He was only wearing his white undershirt that he wore under his school's mandatory white-pressed Oxford shirt. The black ink on his arm made him smile; he had gotten a great idea.

He pulled off his grey school uniform pants and boring black dress shoes, pulling on his favorite pair of jeans, and a black hoodie. He pulled on his Vans and grabbed his car keys and headed towards the parking lot. He didn't have his driver's license yet but his permit was good enough for now.

His mother had bought him a Camaro, brand new, and he was always driving around, though he shouldn't unless he had someone who was 21-years-old or older in the car with him. But he was Reid Garwin, he never got caught.

He grinned cranking the car up and pulling out of the parking space. He drove in to town and found his favorite shop, sure he was only fifteen, but with money and a name like his you could get anything you wanted.

He had found a fondness in tattoos at a young age, getting his first when he was thirteen, after receiving his powers, and gradually getting more as time progressed, though nothing huge or ungodly, just simple tattoos that meant something to him. His first tattoo was his last name tattooed over his left ring finger, after his father died.

The next would be the Celtic Sun on his forearm, followed by his other tribal tattoos up and down his skinny pale arms. He walked in waving to the pierced girl behind the counter; she gave him a wide grin and a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey Reid, long time no see…" The girl grinned at him.

"Daphne, good to see you…" Reid grinned giving the girl a short hug. "How you been?" he asked.

"Same ol' shit just another day…"The girl stated running a hand through her purple and green colored hair.

"Better than bad, right?" Reid asked with a boastful smile.

"True," She pointed at him. "Here for the next master piece?" She asked with a grin.

"Yeah, just something small… is JD in?" He asked looking around the small hole-in-the-wall.

"Sure is, just a sec…" Daphne stated before peeling herself out of her seat.

Reid nodded watching the petite girl walk to the back of the shop. Daphne was substantially good looking, with her wildly colored hair, and assortment of piercing and tattoos. She had a slender waist, large breasts and a very nice ass. Reid smirked as she came back out giving him a small wink before nodding in to JD's room.

Reid licked his lips and winked back taking long strides in to the small room, JD sat looking through several sketches as he looked up and grinned at the boy.

"What's up man?" JD asked putting the book down and clasping his hand with the younger boys.

"Not much, I have a bit of a favor to ask you," Reid stated looking at the boy with a sly grin.

"Shoot," JD grinned.

Tyler looked around his Biology class, himself and his two best friends, Reid and Aaron shared this class. He hadn't seen Reid since he ran off to the dorms with his blonde girlfriend, like they normally did for lunch. He saw her heading to her next period right before he entered the class.

Aaron was usually late so he didn't think anything of it as the dark haired, blue-eyed boy waltzed in with his normal grin on his face. Tyler glanced over as the curly haired brunette gave him their usual handshake.

"Have you seen Reid?" Tyler asked looking up from his notebook.

Aaron seemingly froze at the sound of his best friend's name, he swallowed loudly and with a small shake of his head, Tyler dropped the subject. He was probably off skipping as he usually did, it was Friday after all. Shaking his head he went back to his homework from the night previous.

Reid looked down at his new piece of art work; grinning to himself he wandered in to town, heading straight to Nicky's. He pulled on his new fingerless-gloves that he just purchased and walked in to the Spencer hangout.

"Hey man, where were you?" Tyler's voice came from behind him.

"Had shit to do…" Reid shrugged with a smirk on his face.

"As usual," Aaron smirked clapping a hand on his friend's back cautiously.

"Where are Caleb and Pogue?" Reid asked raising an eyebrow, his icy blue gaze searching the area for his two other best friends.

"I think they're over by the foosball tables, talking to a few of the Spencer girls…" Tyler pointed in another direction.

"How do those two always get the girls?" Aaron asked shaking his head, trying to shake off his nervousness. Reid tossed him a pool stick and Aaron nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Dude, Aaron, what's up with you tonight man?" Reid asked putting his hand on his friend's shoulder. He seemed rather anxious and jumpy.

"What?" Aaron asked suspicious. "Oh nothing…" Aaron shook his head and grinned at the boy. "Ready for me to school you?" He asked with a cocky glance at his friend.

"C'mon Abbott, you know you can't beat me!" Reid stated holding his arms out as if he was some sort of god.

The pool game got under way with Tyler taking the money from the two boys and hanging on to it until the winner was proclaimed. At the end of three rounds, Reid came out victorious, as he usually did.

"Now who's schooling who?" Reid asked taking the forty dollars from Tyler.

"I'm telling you the best 3 out of 6…" Aaron stated looking over at the blonde.

"How about you go buy me a drink?" Reid laughed tossing his arm over his friend's shoulders. "I think me and baby boy are getting thirsty…" He grinned as the brunette stood next to him.

"I think he's right…" Tyler quipped with a grin at Aaron.

"Alright, alright… hey Nicky…" Aaron slammed his hand down on the bar. "Can I get five cokes please?" He asked.

The bald man nodded his head and dispensed five cokes, Aaron pulled out a twenty and slapped it in the man's hand before himself, Tyler and Reid made their way over to the foosball tables.

"I've got winner…" Tyler stated before sitting on top of their normal table.

"And I've got winner from that game…" Reid stated sipping his coke. Aaron smirked and shook his head, "So have any of you seen my girl around?" He questioned.

Aaron nearly choked on his drink when Reid asked his question, everyone turned to look at him and he held up his hand. Shaking his head he pointed to his throat.

"Went down the wrong pipe…" He mustered up coughing.

Reid shook his head and looked to his other friends for an answer, "Haven't heard from her man," Caleb shook his head flicking one of his lines of men.

"I saw her in English, but haven't seen her since…" Pogue shrugged pushing his long light brown hair out of his face.

"She hasn't returned my calls; I guess I'll just see her tomorrow at the Carnival…" He shrugged his shoulders and leaned back watching Caleb school Pogue at foosball.

"Pogue I don't know why you play this game, you suck at it…" Tyler laughed as he took over Pogue's place.

"I don't suck at it… Caleb is just… really good…" He mused.

"Sure, keep telling yourself that Parry," Aaron grinned shaking his head.

The boys continued to hang out and play each other in foosball, and in pool. They had even gotten on the dance floor for awhile, and showed off their moves to a few of the Spencer girls that were watching them.

Pogue had taken a sudden liking to one of the girls, she was cute… Reid thought. Not really his type of girl, Kate Tunney was a major daddy's girl. She got everything she wanted, and it looked like she had her wants set on Pogue Parry. He grinned seeing the boy lured in by the girl's charm.

_Hook line and sinker_. Reid thought shaking his head.

The boys stayed out late that night, it was nearly three in the morning when they got back to the dorms. Caleb offered to give the boys a ride, but Reid pointed to his pride and joy and grinned at the older boy, who gave him a stern look.

"It's not like it's that far…" Reid offered as Tyler and Aaron got in the car with him.

"You are going to get caught one day," Caleb shook his head before getting in to his car and driving off with Pogue next to him.

"_You're going to get caught one day,"_ Reid rolled his eyes mocking Caleb's voice to a tee.

"You should be more careful though, Cal's got a point…" Aaron stated from the backseat.

"Oh hush Aaron, when did you become such a pussy?" Reid grinned glancing back at his friend.

"I'm just saying," Aaron suggested with a shrug.

"Chill, I got it under control…" Reid stated before pulling out of the parking lot, his tires screeching as they did so.

Tyler muttered under his breath and Aaron griped on to the seats tightly, at least Reid hadn't been drinking alcohol that night. They made it back to the dorms, safely, and in one piece.

"I've never been so happy to see this place," Tyler murmured as he jogged up the steps to the front doors of the dormitory.

"Whatever, don't be so melodramatic baby boy," Reid laughed clapping a hand on the younger boy's shoulder. "C'mon Aaron, what are you doing down there?" Reid asked watching Aaron sulk up the steps. "Stop jacking off, fucker…" He shook his head.

"Whatever man," Aaron laughed holding the door open as Reid sauntered in behind Tyler. "I'll catch you guys tomorrow; I've got something I've got to go take care of…" Aaron stated in a nervous tone.

"Ah, Aaron's get some of that…" Reid thrusted his pelvis rudely and grinned at his best friend. "Nice job Abbott…" he proclaimed before he and Tyler headed up to the third floor.

The next day Reid got dressed for the Spring Carnival, they had one every year at the Ipswich park. He got up and went to his dresser pulling out a pair of new jeans and a white crisp t-shirt he pulled on a orange hoodie and then a black one to complete his usual look.

"Dude, come on…" Tyler groaned pulling on his Chuck Taylors. "You've been in the bathroom for an hour…"

Reid poked his head out and shot his best friend a short look, "Perfection takes time baby boy…" he snapped. "Maybe if you put a little extra effort, you could look this good… and probably get a girl as hot as mine…" He grinned at his best friend.

"Fuck you," Tyler mumbled running his hand through his short brown hair.

"Sorry baby boy, I'm not a switch hitter…" Reid mocked him from the bathroom. "If you're looking for that kind of TLC, I believe Hayden Wright swings both ways…" He pointed out.

"Again, fuck you…" Tyler snapped.

Reid smirked at himself in the mirror and grabbed his black beanie pulling it over his blonde mop of hair. Tyler rolled his eyes at the blonde; he spent all that time primping in the mirror just to cover his hair back up with the black piece of cloth.

He rolled his blue eyes and grabbed the boy by the arm pulling him out of the room, he noticed Aaron coming out of his room and waved him over.

"Hey man, you want a lift to the carnival?" He asked looking at the curly haired boy.

"Actually, I've got something I've got to do… I'll meet you guys up there…" Aaron stuttered before turning in the other direction and disappearing.

"Is it me, or is he acting strange?" Reid asked looking over at Tyler.

"It's Aaron, what do you expect?" Tyler questioned with a lazy shrug. "Now c'mon… I'm dying to get a funnel cake…" The brunette boy squirmed.

Reid rolled his eyes and walked towards the parking lot, the brunette boy found himself sitting in the passenger's seat of the little red car as the blonde took the driver's seat. Within ten minutes they were in town at the park. Reid noticed Caleb and Pogue standing with a small group of girls, none of them however were Reid's girlfriend.

"Hey have you seen her yet?" He asked walking up to Caleb and Pogue.

"Who?" Pogue asked his arm was fittingly around the girl from last night's shoulders.

"My girlfriend," Reid stated his eyes surveying over the three other girls around them.

"Oh yeah," Caleb grinned. "I think I saw her by the dunking booth about ten minutes ago." He shrugged his shoulders.

"Alright, I'll catch up with you guys in a few…" Reid stated walking towards the dunking booth.

He was halfway there when a rather beautiful, older, blonde woman came walking up to him a small smile on her face. Reid looked at the woman and raised an eyebrow in suspicion.

"Mom?" He questioned. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you of course," She grinned at him.

"Why?" Reid asked confused.

"I just got back in to town and you want to question my reason for being here?" Meredith Garwin asked her fifteen-year-old son.

"It's just a bit out of the ordinary is all…" The blonde boy shrugged his shoulders.

"If you need me, I'm going to be over by the kissing booth, the rest of the mom's are over there… you should come by and see them… it's been awhile hasn't it?" She questioned.

"Unlike you mother, I'm always in Ipswich. I just saw Mrs. D like two days ago…" He rolled his eyes. "Rosalind I saw last weekend and Mrs. P I saw about a week ago…" He shrugged his shoulders. "I see them more than I see you," He pressed.

Meredith's mouth turned in to a straight line, looking at her son. He was stubborn and defiant just as his father was; she shook her head and walked off. Reid grinned to himself making his way in the direction Caleb had said his girlfriend was.

He spotted her blonde head at the top of the kissing booth, how appropriate. He saw her being the girl being kissed by all the boys and smirked. How she got roped in to that he wasn't sure.

He paid his four tickets and waited in line; he got to the front of the line and looked at his girlfriend with a smirk on his lips. He sat down and leaned in for a kiss.

"Reid what are you doing here?" She asked glaring at him.

Reid sat back in his seat and noticed that his friends had walked towards them, and their mothers were watching as well. He furrowed his brow and looked at the blonde girl.

"I came to kiss my girlfriend, what are you doing?" He asked.

"Reid," The girl pursed her lips together, it resembled a bit of a scowl if Reid wasn't mistaking. "We're over…" She muttered lowly.

"Excuse me?" Reid's eyes grew large as he stared at the girl in front of him.

"I said we're over…" She sated a bit louder so that everyone could hear.

"I believe it was just yesterday you were telling me you loved me…" Reid's eyes turned in to small slits as he narrowed his icy blue gaze on her. "And I was telling you that I loved you…" He grilled her.

The girl ran a hand through her blonde hair and stared the blonde boy down, "I don't love you Reid…" She scoffed. "I never loved you," She shook her head. "I just said I did to get what I wanted…" She shrugged her shoulders.

"What?" Reid's eyes grew large.

"Besides you're fifteen years old, how do you know what love is?" She rolled her brown eyes.

"This," He pulled up his sleeve revealing the black ink on his wrist; "This is love, isn't it?" He asked pointing to her name that was now tattooed permanently in to his skin.

"What the hell did you do that for?" She asked glaring at him.

"You told me to prove to you that I loved you, doesn't this show you?" Reid asked feeling tears threatening his eyes.

"This proves to me that you're just a fool," She shook her head pushing the table forward against Reid's waist. He leaned forward in pain and looked up at her hurtful gaze. "You want to know how much I love you," She grinned at him and looked in to the crowd. "I slept with Aaron…" She pointed to the curly haired brunette that was just walking up to the group.

"What?!" Reid yelled glaring at the curly haired boy.

"What the hell?" Aaron yelled looking up at the girl.

"I slept with Aaron right after I met up with you," She smirked at him. "How about that?" She grinned walking off.

"You bitch," Reid muttered shaking his head. "How the hell could you do this to me?" He yelled his face red with anger. She didn't react at all she continued to walk towards the parking lot. "And you," He turned to Aaron as he jumped off of the stage. "You're supposed to be my best friend…" He sucked his teeth.

"Reid, I'm sorry…" Aaron stuttered looking at his friend.

"You're sorry?" Reid's eyes grew with anger. "She slept with my fucking girlfriend, you prick!" He shoved the slightly smaller boy away from him.

"She told me you guys broke up…." Aaron defended himself.

"And you slept with her, still?" Reid asked shaking his head.

"Dude…." Tyler tried to get between the two older boys. "Chill out man," He stated pushing Reid back a bit.

"No, this fucker…" Reid pointed to Aaron. "Is going to get what he fucking deserves…" Reid growled lowly.

With that Reid shoved Tyler to the side and threw a punch in Aaron's direction, Aaron caught the right hook with his face. The boy went down without much a fight and was pummeled by the lanky blonde.

Caleb and Pogue pushed the girls back and pulled Reid off of Aaron, "C'mon man… chill out… you should be kicking her ass too…" Pogue groaned holding Reid back with both arms behind his back.

"I fucking hate you," Reid spat at Aaron. "I don't want to see your fucking face again…" He glowered shoving his friends off of him.

He stormed off back to his car, getting in and driving off in a hurry. Tyler ran after him but stopped short of the crosswalk, it was too late. There was no getting to Reid now. He groaned running a steady hand through his hair.

Reid drove, and he continued to drive until he finally pulled over and got out of his car, wiping the tears that had betrayed him off of his pale face he kicked the tire in frustration. He leaned forward on to the hood of the car and pursed his lips together.

"How the fuck did I get myself in to this?" He groaned pushing off of the hood and staring in to the woods.

He glanced around and started walking in the wooded area, he found a small creek and sighed heavily leaning against a rock as he slid down to the dirt infested ground. His icy blue gaze rested down to the calligraphy tattoo on his wrist.

The name stared back at him, piercing in to him like a dagger through the heart. He groaned and pulled his sleeve down angrily not wanting to look at it. Grinding his teeth together he picked up a rock and threw it in the water.

"Fucking bitch," He stated angrily through clenched teeth. "How could I be so fucking naïve?" He asked no one in particular. "You're a fucking idiot Reid Garwin," He groaned throwing another rock in to the water.

He leaned his head back on the large boulder and sighed, looking up at the sky, as the tears slipped from his blue orbs freely. He felt like someone had just ripped his heart out and stomped all over it. He glared down at his wrist again, he pulled up his sleeve staring at the name.

_**Lydia**_. The name stared back at him viciously. His mind raced with what he could possibly do to get this stupid thing removed. JD had said it wasn't a good idea, but Reid was so love struck, so love stoned that he didn't know what else to do to prove how much he loved the girl.

He thought about having the laser removal done, it would probably cost him a few thousand dollars to get, but it would be worth it, the name would be gone forever. He thought about it more, how many other vindictive bitches were out there in the world, probably plenty of them.

How many of them wanted him just to boost their popularity, or to get a pair of 2 carat diamond earrings for their birthday? Most of them, he answered his own question, a scowl placing itself on his face as he thought about it.

All the girls at Spencer Academy were just like her, he figured. They just wanted more popularity, more money… who has the richest boyfriend? His blue eyes narrowed in on the creek as he stood up abruptly, placing his hands in his pocket, he felt the tips of the gloves he had purchased yesterday.

He had won every game last night wearing these; they seemed to be his good luck charm. He touched the inside of his palm and looked around. He remembered the first time he held on to Lydia's hand. The way her skin felt against him, it was one of the things that had instantly attracted him to her.

He pulled the two leather gloves on, wiggling his free fingers as the bottom part of the glove covered up her name; he was going to keep it there. Keep her name there to remind him that he was never going to be the used again. Never again was he going to let a girl get that close to him.

Never would another girl feel his bare palm and use him as her play toy, there was no way in hell. He was going to do to every girl, what had been done to him; use them for what he wanted, and once he got it… he would toss them aside.

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**So that's the reason why Reid is the way he is... interesting.**

**Ok, so remember to R&R:)**


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